Oh man, I can’t wait to see you guys again!
Deciding to go on missions this year was a big struggle. At first, I wanted to go just because I had never gone before, but that didn’t seem like reason enough to actually send in the application for STSM. As the deadline to sign up came closer, I was beginning to struggle with what God wanted me to do with my life, and so then missions became an opportunity to get an idea of how God wants to use me. Even in that I wondered if my motivation for going was still too selfish. Some people that I talked to said they wanted to go to give back and serve God or because they have a heart for the lost or for a particular country, etc. Although I still wasn’t sure if I was going to missions for the right purpose, I applied because I received so much encouragement to trust that God placed the desire in my heart for a reason. God’s sovereignty reigned and through the whole training process, I learned that there may be several reasons for going to missions, but the end goal with any of them is to glorify God by proclaiming the gospel, and that became the focus of missions for me.
God truly blessed this team with a leader who had a clear goal; it was not just to give us an experience but to proclaim the gospel at every given opportunity and support church plants as well. Our ministry consisted mainly of medical missions, teaching at schools, helping Sathyam Ministries, and church encouragements. The type of work we did in Bangalore, Kerala, and Vizag varied, but the unifying theme for me was humility.
In Bangalore, our team was able to teach at one of the St. Paul Schools for a few days. Although it wasn’t our main ministry there, the children there were such a great blessing. They showed all of us so much love even before we did anything for them. They would always try to get our attention and loved it when we did something as simple as sitting next to them. And although they didn’t have very much, they shared their snacks with us so generously. They showed us the kind of love that is exemplified in Christ – love that is reflective and not reciprocal. They didn’t expect anything from us and yet they still gave us everything they had. How true this is of Christ as well. Though he was entitled to everything as the Son of God, he became nothing in order that depraved sinners like us could have a gift as great as eternal life with the Father. As the children showered us with their love, all I could think was that I didn’t deserve any of it and that God treats me so well to an unreasonable extent.
We were also very privileged to work with GLMC (Gospel Life Mission Church) to do medical missions. We went to St. Paul School and different villages and set up a medical station where people could get a simple checkup with the GLMC team. The KCM team’s job was to do skits and preach the gospel to those who were waiting in line and to pray with those who had finished getting their checkup. Most of the people in the villages didn’t know much English, so when there’s that language barrier, the need for a dependency on God becomes so much clearer. Since we couldn’t have one on ones with the villagers, all we could do is pray in faith that God’s will be done in their lives. At those times, it was so apparent that it is God, -not us- who changes hearts and brings them to Him. God already knows who is chosen to be part of His kingdom, so who are we to think that we have any authority or influence in that. As His workers, we can’t go into evangelism with the mindset that we are responsible for converting everyone; we’re there to make His name known and scatter the seeds while He grows them in His own time. God doesn’t even need to use us for His kingdom work, but He allows us to serve in this way and receive His blessings.
In Kerala, we partnered with Sathyam Ministries and helped at a school for disabled children. There were about 12 students so each of us was assigned to one of them. The girl that I played with was named Daveeka and she seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me. Since I’m a very results based person, if there’s no result I don’t know how to respond. I was pretty discouraged and it was a challenge to keep pushing on and showing her the love of Christ. On the second day, I found it easer to have love and joy while working with the kids. However, this was only because I got something out of it. There were a few girls who wanted me to play with them and I felt joy at those moments because I was being useful and providing for them. Their dependence on me gave me fulfillment and fueled my energy. But I’m not entitled to that joy or love from them, and even if they kept rejecting me, I should still show them love. I may not have felt an abundant outpouring of love and compassion for them but I know that God does, and that should move me into action because my love for those kids will never reach the perfection of God’s love. Once again, it’s about what God can do and has already done for us, not what I am capable or incapable of doing.
The last week of ministry in Vizag was a different kind of challenge because I had various personal struggles hit me, and I realized that they were so difficult for me to deal with because I didn’t expect them. As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:7, “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.” I had become prideful and content with the things God had shown me in India and Vizag was a wake up call for me. I can’t let the things I’ve learned overseas just become novel little ideas. Instead, I have to keep putting on the armor of God everyday and fighting my sins by constantly reminding myself of the gospel to be a better witness to my family and friends. God has shown me so much this summer and in order to put it into practice, I have to humble myself and know that I am weak and He is strong; I can do nothing apart from Him.
Finish the mission.
